Let's Eat Paste

This post was the reason I started linking you on the CDP so long ago. The Missus found it through a totally random Blog search, and forwarded it to me because she thought it was so funny.

It still is. I honestly laugh every single time I read it. My next post will be a post linking to your new post linking to that old post.

Merry X-Mans!
 

I think I might still have the actual card, I need to scan it in and post it. It really is one of my favorite things. I love the logic of it.

I should have found an awful Christmas tree picture to go with it when I originally posted it. God bless Google image search.
 

That reminds me of the year that Google Image Search saved my Christmas by pulling me out of my burning house while I slept.
 

I remember that, that's when I discovered the true meaning of Christmas.
 

Yeah, I'm awesome because I found your page. If you really think about it, most good things really happen because of me. However, good things do not happen TO me, which presents a puzzling paradox.
 

I was honored that my page met either your high standards of subtle humor, or you high-low standards of poop humor.

And that's how I discovered the true meaning of Missus.
 

You're starting to figure her out now. NO MIDDLE GROUND. Not even a little bit.

The trick is to combine the subtle with the over-the-top. My favorite combination is when someone's head explodes for no reason, but she doesn't like that, either.

She's complicated. Like Jesus.
 

I am intrigued by your friend and would like to subscribe to his newsletter.

And because of your blog, this year I am going to put the "P" in Christmas.
 

Oh... Jon do you have any ideas that I can steal for me and Serena's Christmas card? I can't think of anything this year, and it's getting down to the wire. I wanted to make a game board of some sort with a spinner deal, but I'm already bored with that idea...
 

Didn't you have a post a while back about possible card ideas?
 

In Sept 2004 there's a post called "Kirk D's Greeting Card Ideas" that's pretty hilarious. Of course, you know him from http://www.secretfunspot.com
 

Heh -

Those are hilarious. While I would gladly go with "you are horribly ugly," I can't really see getting that past Serena. Stupid marriage compromises....
 

Todd, you're the king of creative Christmas letters, so I probably can't offer any advice that would improve on anything you've already created.

I rarely send cards, but when I do, I like to put in a dollar. That may get cost prohibitive depending on how many Christmas cards you send. I used to give a card and a dollar as a wedding gift when I was poor in college. I had a stash of odd cards from my summer at Dayspring, lots of "Happy 50th Anniversary" and "To Our Daughter on Her Wedding Day" cards. I sent a few out randomly to friends over the summer with a dollar.

You could do a Christmas Sweepstakes christmas card that says on the envelope, "You may have been wished a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
 

NOw that's funny.

I used to send out thank you notes that were form letters, but no one thought it was funny. I think I may have posted that on my blog once.

Stupid not-funny people...
 

Make your Christmas card a petition saying that you want Wal-Mart to change all of the "Happy Holidays" signs in their store to "Merry X-Mans"... and all the Santa's replaced with Wolverine.
 

I like it. It's time for these corporate fatcats and atheists to let this country be how Stan Lee intended it to be from the very beginning.
 

Pregnant Skydiver

Here's a news story straight from your hometown, if you didn't already hear about it. Just randomly clicked on a news story, and there it was.
 

Oh yeah, that happens like every week here.

That's krazy.

Here's a non-related link everyone will enjoy, it's the worst rap battle ever.